This month has been an enlightening experience. It started out as just completing NaNoWriMo just to see if I could complete it. Instead, I realized how much I miss writing on a daily basis. It is something that has been missing from my life. I walked away from it a few years ago to teach full time. This year due to some professional and personal issues, I decided to take a year off. I have felt lost since the beginning of the school year. I have picked up the occasional sub job just to keep myself occupied. Restlessness still consumed me.
I love to read and write. What better thing to do than read books and write reviews? But It didn’t help the restless and unsettling feeling that kept creeping up. Until Nov 2nd. I began writing for NaNoWritMo. The month of writing was rewarding, exhilarating, exhausting, and completely fulfilling. I couldn’t write everyday. I had numerous writing sprints from 5000 to 9000 words a day down to only 200. The characters were haunting me all day everyday. I couldn’t even shower without them talking to me. To some this sounds a lot like multiple personality disorder or even schizophrenia, authors and writers know exactly what I’m talking about. This is what plagues a writer. It’s what drives us to write. We need to flush these pieces out of our heads and that moment when the first draft is complete. Complete and utter relief and happiness. But also a little sad. Now their story is finished so no more hauntings. Although, there’s still the revision and editing process where the characters are being refined.
I’m getting ahead of myself here. I did complete NaNoWriMo. I did have complete sense of accomplishment–mostly because I have never finished a novel before. Well truthfully, it’s still not finished. NaNoWriMo helped me write 50000 words but I’m still working on finishing it. But I’ve never written 50000 words before even as an undergrad in my minor of Creative Writing. I did something I’ve never done before. I have a sense of pride.
Since sending my verification of 50000 words, I feel let down. I no longer need to upload or update my word count. I have no one to account for my numbers. It’s just me and my writing. In a weird sense, I hate it. I liked being part of something bigger. Writing along with others. I also notice that I was turning down teaching jobs to stay home and write (my bank account will hate me soon). But I feel better about myself.
My current solution is building up my twitter presence within the writing community. That has helped me with that sense of loss I experienced with the validation of my word count. If you want to chat with me there @randaknight.
My question to you: What are you passionate about?